throwback thursday

All this began when I was in high school.  Let me tell you, when I was in high school, I thought I was the bomb dot com.  I shopped at thrift stores and scoffed at the cool kids wearing store brand threads.  I used words like threads, capitalist agenda, social conventions, and political convictions.  I only turned on the television to CNN.  I applied to the American University in Beirut because I was leaving this country as soon as I graduated.  I carried around Nabokov to look cool.

And I certainly didn't go to school dances.  One day my dad, who was the ultimate rebel in high school (he rode a motorcycle!), told me he regretted not going to his prom.  "Really, daddy?!" I scoffed.  "I'm not participating in ridiculous social conventions that force me to buy expensive dresses and wear tons of makeup and hairspray and find a male to escort me."

I ended up caving and went to not one, but two! dances my senior year.  But by God, I wasn't going to let them see me give into their capitalist agenda propagating the consumerism of dress buying.  I bought this heinous (I even thought it was heinous at the time) royal blue satin bridesmaid dress from the 80s for homecoming.  I don't have any before pictures, but it had a sheath piece that went under the fluffy skirt piece down to my ankles that I cut off.

Just so you know folks, this was 2006.  Don't be fooled by the beautiful faux wood paneling in my living room and my Polaroids.  Do you recognize anyone else in this picture?  You guessed it!  We weren't dating yet, but my husband was one of my male escorts wayyyyyy back then.

Can you see the jewels??  I HOT GLUED PLASTIC JEWELS TO IT.  My Bedazzler was broken.

This dress was reincarnated yet again for prom that year.  And yes, my husband and I were dating by the time prom rolled around.  I was so in love, I actually wanted to go to prom with him.  Swoon.  Knowing absolutely nothing of what I was doing, I collected about 20 ties, ripped apart the seams, and sewed them together.  I stared at it for a long time, this blanket of ties.  I didn't know how to make a dress!  *Light bulb*  I had a dress I could sew the ties to, solving my not knowing how to actually sew problem.  Off came the blue puffy skirt from the dress and on went the ties.

I was so proud of myself.  I could further perpetuate my super cool image and let people know all about my political convictions.  When we were walking into the venue, a woman stopped me on the street and exclaimed over my dress and asked me if she could buy it.  I was so puffed up with pride, it was ridiculous.

There you have it, friends.  A throwback to the beginning of all this madness.